He looks like a baby hippopotamus.”

That’s what I overheard my fifth-grade teacher say when I tried out for hurdles before our one-day track-and-field competition.

That I remember this comment some thirty-five years later says something about how much it stung.

Fast-forward to about three weeks ago, when I’m training for my first triathlon. I’m not too worried about the cycling and running, but the swimming intimidates me.

On race day I’ll need to swim a half-mile in the open water.

I’ve been sticking to what for me is a rigorous training schedule—twelve weeks of training, six days a week.

And on this particular morning I was in the pool, pulling myself through the water, but struggling. What am I doing wrong? Why is this so hard?

And that’s when I heard it again: “He looks like a baby hippopotamus.”

I slammed my hand on the wall and gulped the air.

“Hey, why are you doing this?” I asked myself, catching my breath. “Why are you here?”

And I repeated a goal I reviewed almost daily all year: “I want to finish my first triathlon with a smile by October 1.”

“Good,” I said back, “then get back out there.” And I pushed off the wall into my next lap.

Dealing with Negative Self-Talk

One of the most insidious forces on the planet is negative self-talk.

Whether it’s an old teacher, a parent, or the voice of our own over-the-top pessimism, negative self-talk smashes the endeavors that are most important to us.

If we cannot find a way to combat it, to overcome negative self-talk and move forward, we are not likely to accomplish the work we feel called to do.

Nobody escapes this pernicious foe. I have not met a writer yet who does not face it on a very regular basis.

Finding the Voice of Encouragement

A few days later I was back in the pool, doing my best but still struggling a bit.

And this time I heard a very different voice than that of my old teacher.

I heard what I as a father said to my daughter when she was learning to ice-skate and to my son when he was training for his first 5K.

“Remember to enjoy it.”

When we’re involved in important work and every cell in our bodies is focused on a particular mission, it can be all-consuming. We can forget to have fun.

I heard the voice of encouragement: “Remember to enjoy it. You’re out here doing something good for yourself. You might as well have a little fun while you’re at it.”

I instantly relaxed and kept swimming.

What Negative Self-Talk Sounds Like for Writers

If you’re a writer, you face a maniacal, fire-breathing opponent who’s every bit as deadly as the villains we read about and watch on the big screen.

Except this battle is not out there somewhere, it’s happening within us.

A lot is at stake. We will either accomplish the projects that are important to us, or we won’t.

Negative self-talk takes various forms for writers:

• “You’re not good enough.”
• “No publisher is ever going to be interested in your work.”
• “You’re a terrible writer.”
• “Who cares about this book?”
• “You’re not worthy.”
• “You’re going to get rejected, and this book will never see the light of day.”
• “Kiss your publishing dreams goodbye.”

And on and on and on.

Sound familiar? It is vital that you think about how to combat this enemy and put it in its place as often as it makes an appearance.

How do you do that?

How to Turn Your Self-Talk into an Ally

My advice is to start by not ignoring it.

It is painful to listen to what that voice is saying, so we often pretend it does not exist.

The problem with not acknowledging our negative self-talk is then it chatters away under the surface and slowly consumes our dreams bit by little bit.

No more.

The next time you hear the voice of negative self-talk, give it center stage. Listen to what it’s saying. Hear it out.

After you’ve done this, question what the voice is saying. Is it telling the truth?

Another tactic to try, as I did in the pool, is to remind yourself why you’re engaged in this work in the first place. Why are you here?

Then call upon your inner voice of confidence, your voice of faith and diligence.

If you were to replace what the negative voice is saying with the voice of encouragement, how would that go? What would it say?

In my case, it was “Remember to enjoy this.” If nothing else comes to mind, you’re free to borrow that line for yourself.

And finally, talk to a trusted friend, coach, or partner about the negative self-talk. Tell them your struggle.

Not long after I heard the hippopotamus line in the pool, I shared about it with a mentor of mine. He didn’t say much back, but he was supportive and empathetic. That’s all I needed to move forward.

To summarize:

• Listen to your negative self-talk. Hear it out.
• Question it. Is it telling the truth?
• Remind yourself why whatever you’re doing is important to you.
• Replace the voice of negativity with the voice of encouragement.
• Reach out to a trusted friend, coach, or partner.

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The quality of our self-talk is important. When we’re intentional about it and follow the above steps, we’ll be better equipped to do the work that is most important to us.

Let’s practice this.What is something your negative self-talk tells you, and what will you tell yourself instead? You can leave a comment by clicking here.