I do quite a bit of traveling for my job. In the past when I arrived at an airport, I immediately beat feet to my next gate. If it was meal time I scarfed something down on the way or at my gate.
I realized at some point that this sense of urgency, while sometimes necessary, is normally a waste of energy. Worse, it robs me of some of the best parts of traveling.
Most journeys are worth savoring. The reality is I don’t really need to be at my gate until 20 minutes before departure.
These days I do my best to enjoy airports. I take in the art. I research the best meal options and eat healthy. I notice people and try to help them.
This realization about artificial urgency got me thinking: How else do I manufacture urgency that isn’t really there? And I came up with four ways to put urgency in its place and embrace a more peaceful way to live.
- Schedule it for later. I like an empty inbox, but must I respond to every email before moving it out of my inbox? Why not store the email where I can easily find it and block out some time later in the week for crafting a response?
- Know the timeline. I often feel urgency about a project because I don’t really know its timeline. I have a vague sense it needs to get done, so the project constantly nags at me. Better to take five minutes to look at or determine the timeline. Then schedule a day or couple hours to work on it.
- Drop the comparisons. Whenever my wife and I learn that some other child of an age similar to our own is doing something our child isn’t, we immediately feel this impulse to act. “Gotta get that done,” we think. “Or our kid will be missing out!” It’s simply not true. There’s a time for everything, and what’s most important is that we are present to our children—not that we are shuttling them to this that and the other thing.
- Cultivate simplicity and gratitude. I need that boat! That car! That house! That iPad! That smart phone! Wait, do I really? What about simplicity and enjoying what I already have?
The problem with fake urgency is it robs us of being truly present whenever and wherever we are. The present is where peace is. Right here and now. Hopefully these practices will help you reduce artificial urgency and experience a little more peace today.
How have you reduced fake urgency in your life? What practices help you experience more peace?
This is a great reminder to stop and view the world around us. Sometimes it’s so easy to focus on “getting there” and lose sight that it’s the journey we live most of our lives in.
Well said, Michelle.
For me a key to having peace is a well-rounded diet of prayer. If I pray even one of the “hours” of the Divine Office (better two with one in the morning and one in the evening) then the rest of my schedule is put into perspective. And if I get off kilter, just a few minutes of saying the Jesus Prayer (“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me”) along with my breath brings me back to center.
A very helpful book coming from a Buddhist perspective is “The Miracle of Mindfulness” by Thich Nhat Hanh. He starts with the saying “When you wash the dishes, wash the dishes.” Turns out that simply attending to what I am actually doing in the moment, rather than racing to my worries about what may be happening elsewhere or in the future, is very peaceful. As Jesus said, “…do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.”
Useful comments for sure. I have at various times prayed the daily office and still do pray the Jesus prayer from time to time–usually when I feel adrift. The Jesus Prayer anchors me. Praying the Daily Office is made easier with sites like this one, http://www.missionstclare.com/english/index.html, but I still struggle to make it a regular practice.
Hanh’s quote is a beautiful reminder. Thanks, Gary!
The Inbox is my nemesis, also. I’ll consider your suggestion.
Michael Hyatt revolutionized my email habits. Check out this post: http://michaelhyatt.com/yes-you-can-stay-on-top-of-email.html
This is an issue that’s been near and dear to my heart lately – I manufacture urgency like crazy. It’s the curse of being a Type A! I should read your post daily!
I was a huge offender in your category #3 with my twins. I compared them on EVERYTHING. I’ve gotten much better with my younger daughter now that I have a little more perspective.
The biggest thing for me is that I admitted to myself last month that I’m taking myself too seriously. I don’t like to go more than 7 days without posting to my blog. I was feeling an overwhelming sense of pressure on weeks when I hadn’t posted and night number 6 arrived. That happened once last month and a light bulb went off…”Wait a minute…let’s get real…there is NO ONE, absolutely no one, who will wonder what on earth happened if I don’t post tomorrow.” Totally manufactured sense of urgency. I ended up posting on day 8 for the first time in the history of my blog. No one unsubscribed. 🙂 When we take ourselves too seriously, life gets “urgent” in all kinds of ways.
Natasha, your words about your blog both challenge and calm me. Thank you.
Love, love, love this post! Chad, I really don’t know if it’s a coming-of-age/maturity thing or the fact we lived through a life-threatening experience with one of our children, but the truth of the matter is, I approach life differently than I did a few years ago. I no longer feel compelled to “keep up with the Joneses” or plan every facet of my life down to the minute. I’m still a planner and a do-er, but I’ve learned to savor life a little more fully now without the pressing need to run-run-run.
I had to laugh as you talked about the comparisons we make as parents. Isn’t that the truth?! I think it would stop “entitlement” in its tracks if we approached things differently with our kids from the beginning rather than changing course when they adolescents. Mixed signals are the worst.
Interesting comment about adolescents. My children are still young, so this is yet more encouragement to stop the madness of comparisons…Thank you as ever, Cynthia.
I think I often mistake busy for productive, and sometimes the most productive thing I can do is simply to take a few moments to rest and reflect. (deep breath inward, and exhale)
Was a more countercultural word ever spoken? And yet was a truer word ever spoken? We mess about with this and that, not recognizing that a brief pause to get centered would lead us down a much more fulfilling path–a path that helps us even as it helps us help others.
Well said.
Thanks, Bill!
“Artificial urgency”. Exactly. Sometimes it helps to just name it and then I see it so much more easily. Thank you for this.
You’re so welcome. The discipline of such naming has been a lifesaver for me.
Great post. Number two as an editor can suck one’s energy, to be sure. And number three as a parent is something I have to push down as an un-truth. Thanks.
Amen and amen, energy-sucks and untruths be damned!
Great thoughts and so needful. I am guilty of a fake sense of urgency. When I actually slow down, the funny thing is that I usually accomplish more. One of the best ways for me is putting away the iphone and the computer for periods of time. Sometimes remembering to talk to God throughout the day helps me slow down.
I not only accomplish more. The quality of what I do skyrockets. The difference is huge. I love the honesty in your use of the word “Sometimes” above. Thanks, Lisa.
Amen! Rushing about is a good way to miss those delightful moments of the extraordinary within the seemingly ordinary.
A clearer word was never spoken, Micky. Thanks! The extra is in the ordinary if we have eyes to see…
Good thoughts.
Thank you!