May I start with the obvious? I don’t know it all, and neither do you.

We all could use the help and wisdom of someone who’s further along in life and career. Recently I heard business expert and master networker Peter Strople talk about the importance of having a personal “board of directors,” which is a bold, useful way to think about it.

For a long time I resisted the idea of a mentor. Thought it was cheesy. Didn’t want to bother anyone. Thought I could do it all on my own, thank you very much.

Eventually I gave in, and I’m so glad I did.

I meet quarterly with three different people, people who are older and wiser than I. Their advice and encouragement has been priceless. Here are some ways to get started:

1. Decide you’re worth it. This is likely one of the biggest obstacles. We don’t think we are worth an hour of someone else’s time. But that’s ludicrous. Would you spend an hour with a friend to help him or her out? Of course you would. So give yourself the same kindness you give to others.
2. Come up with a short list of possible mentors. When I first heard about the whole idea of mentoring, I thought, “That’s hokiest thing I’ve ever heard. And besides, I have no idea who I would ask.” But after a few months of mulling, three people came to mind. Think about the different spheres of your life: work, church/spirituality, social circles. Also, think about people you admire but don’t see very often; this is a great way to see more of them.
3. Ask. I wrestled with whether or not to just invite these people to lunch or to actually use the word “mentor” or “life and career consultant” in my invitation. Todd Henry told me it’s best to just come out with it so that expectations are clear right from the get go. Just be honest. “I’m looking for a mentor, somebody who’s further along in life, who cares about my growth as an individual and professional. I’d like the freedom to ask for your advice from time to time, and I hereby give you the freedom to ask me anything you want, whenever you want.”
4. Buy lunch. Your mentor(s) will be that much more inclined to meet with you if you pick up the check!
5. Don’t dive into your life right away. Start by asking how the other person is doing, what’s keeping them engaged at the moment. Then listen!
6. Come with some questions or particular issues you want to talk about. Before you meet with your mentor, ask yourself, “Into what areas of my life do I need someone to speak right now? What advice do I need?” Then make sure you get to these items before the meeting ends.
7. Meet regularly. As I mentioned above, I meet quarterly with my three mentors, which means I see each of them once every three months. That means I’m meeting with a mentor once a month, but hopefully I’m not a burden on anyone’s schedule. Experiment with this. See what works best for you and your mentor(s).
8. Don’t be afraid to switch it up. It’s not mean to stop hosting someone to lunch or coffee. Our lives evolve, and so it makes sense that over time our advisors change.
9. If you have multiple mentors, as a way of saying thanks, consider hosting all of them to dinner or lunch once a year. I haven’t done this, but it occurs to me as a great way to express gratitude.

Question: In what areas of your life do you need a mentor right now? What small step could you take toward meeting regularly with a mentor or two?